Down

I can't believe it,
Tell me I'm dreaming and we are still we,
It was amazing,
Said you were lucky,
That you found me,

It was on a rainy day that we met you didn't have a place to go,
I said we just met, so lets go slow, but no you just told me to keep you from the cold,
Sorry I can't take it,
Why did you fake it?
Why did we kiss?

And I'm just down,
You left me with a note without a sound,
I figured I must stop being such a child,
You never know how much I've been around,
How my heart just frowns if you're down,

I'll be you teddy bear,
I'll be your cloud,
I'll take you round and round and,
If you don't mind, I can be your standing ground,
Even if that means I drown,

It was on a rainy day that we met you didn't have a place to go,
I said we just met, so lets go slow, but no you just told me to keep you from the cold,
Sorry I can't take it,
Why did you fake it?
Why did we kiss?

And I'm just down,
You left me with a note without a sound,
I figured I must stop being such a child,
You never know how much I've been around,
How my heart just frowns if you're down,

I'll be you teddy bear,
I'll be your cloud,
I'll take you round and round and,
If you don't mind, I can be your standing ground,
Even if that means I drown,

And maybe that would be my one last vow....

Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming...

Recently, that feeling is back,
Don't know how to describe it,
Maybe its kinda like, that feeling you told me that you had a long time ago,
The feeling that when I didn't find you to chat when I'm online,
Its like a weird feeling, like I don't know what I want or what I'm thinking,
Its very confusing...

Like today,
I didn't know you didn't bring your phone,
I sms-ed you, no reply, I kept checking my phone,
After class I called to ask how am I going to give it to you, no answers,
That feeling, just flows around, and lingers, until Shirley called me back,
And you told me you didn't bring your phone, and then relieve...

What am I thinking? What am I feeling?
At this point..I really wish to know..
What does it feel like and what are the symptoms,
When you like somebody...

Close your eyes
Give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Or am I only dreaming?

2010

Lot has happened in this year..
New experiences..
Important lessons learnt..

Went to National Service, met a lot of new friends,
learnt to live with other people, took heavy responsibilities,
lots of other things..

Started dating for awhile,
Fell in and out of love, and then in again, and then out,
and now what? Hanging? I don't know..
learnt a lot too..
Never hold on too tight, whats yours will always be yours, whats not yours will never be,
Destiny or not destiny? Don't know..never believed in that..
Baby steps, never rush things, this is not a game,
poeple's feelings are involved, let time do its thing..

Started college, total culture shock,
made some bros and friends,
slacked off too much, paid the price,
been placed into a wonderful class with wonderful classmates,
long way to go, with not so much time left..

Became more rude, selfish and insensitive after breaking up,
I noticed and always knew that this is not a good behaviour nor a way to release pent up anger and frustration or feelings,
trying harder and harder to control, its not easy,
but I can make it, just need more time,

New Year Resolutions?
1. Cut slacking and push harder
2. Correct attitude and behaviour
3. Not be hasty, take things slow, 1 step at a time.
4. SURVIVE

Overall 2010 is a year of ups and downs,
just like all the others before it,
will 2011 be better or worst?
I don't know..

Bring it on, all the challenges that awaits,
I'll survive, one way or another,
just like the years before..

CoNfUsED..

I don't know what I want..
Nor how I feel..
Maybe I still do..
Maybe I'm getting over it slowly..
Maybe there is still a remnant of it left..
Maybe its never gone..
I don't know for sure..

I do notice that sometimes I go out of my way to help..
Sometimes I'm playing it cool..
Sometimes I feel you..
Sometimes I don't
I'm so confused,..

Only time can determine..
And decide whether it needs to be fixed..
Or advance on..

真的嗎

離別的話我不想要　現在清楚聽見
而你可以不用回答　什麼都不要說
我的笑容沒有快樂　是否看得出來
昏黃的天別告訴我　快下起雨了

清晨的風貼在臉上　吹乾落下的淚
一整夜的思緒難眠　等待你的回音
愛情沒有太多理由　可以不用要求
但希望你明白了解　真心在這裡

不像你　愛可以　輕鬆
我真的　愛你　愛你
你還是走

I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU
BABY EVERYDAY I MISS YOU
心裡的深處　思念依然在
你真的不再回來

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
BABY EVERYDAY I LOVE YOU
不要讓我懂　真的不想懂
想要躺在你胸口

Killer instinct..

Can you feel it?
The killer instinct,
Every word laced with poison and malice,
Sharp tones,
Fiery vocabulary...

One of the many negatives of me...

Game

This is a cruel game of life that nobody is exempted from,
Everyone has to play it at some point in life,
Its not actually the same for everyone,
For some, its a nice game, average, or cruel like me..

Why is it cruel?
Always when you are about to lose, and you know it, you're about to give up,
It always give you an opening, a chance that you see,
that can turn the game around,
And you get your hopes up, you go the extra mile,
Only to find that opening slowly closing,
The closer you get, the smaller the opening,
The moment you are there, it closes on you..

The world, just falls upon you,
Large pieces of it,
Crushing you, and slowly those pieces crumble into smaller ones,
And finally turn to dust, blown off from you body,
Taking with it, all of the pressure,
You try to wake up, but..
You're just too tired, you've already taken too much damage,
You just wanna' lie there, not moving, just lie there, static..

Rain has some healing properties to it,
Like a magical elixir, curing everything as it drops on you,
*plop* sadness is gone...
*plop* sickness is gone...
*plop* loneliness is gone..
*plop* fear is gone...
*plop* doubt is gone..
At least that's how I'd like it to be,
Every drop, a magical elixir, washes everything off you,
But in reality, its not, its just water, dropping down from the sky,

Its funny, funny how we can talk so openly about what has happened,
I kept asking questions that all along the answers I already had,
Kept wondering about the future, what if history repeats itself, although it surely will not..

I'm already tired, I know its still early game,
Only restarted a few times, still a long way to go,
I know, but its just, I'm tired, I've had enough, for now...
What will happen in the future?
Your guess is as good as mine...

我寂寞寂寞就好
这时候谁都别来安慰 拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到
受不了想到 快疯掉
死不了就还好