My Life

My life..
Wat a life I live..
So damn boring..
So bland..
So routine..
Nearly everyday is the same..
Its like clockwork..

My life..
It also changed a lot..
I used to like holidays..
Be it weekends..
Or long ones..
Where everyday would be filled with activities..
Hanging out..Sports..Movies..

But now..
Seems like everybody's busy..
Tution..
Work..
Its not like before anymore..
Sundays will be spent at home..
Walking about the house aimlessly..
Listening to songs..
All the boring-boring things..

It feels so lonely to be at home..
Eventhough my family's here..
It feels so empty..
Which is why it is worst on weekdays..
When only I'm home alone..
Especially on weekday holidays..
Waking up to find urself all alone..
Not a soul in the house..
Feels so empty..

This all happened when I moved houses..
When I'm still living in my old home..
Yeah..old "Home"..its so much warmer..
But now..its "house"..empty house..
My old home..where I'm nearer to my friends..
Nearer to all the pasar malams'..
Nearer to skool..
Nearer to the badminton court..
Nearer to the football field..
Nearer to the mamak stall..
Which all now seems so distant..
From where I live now..

But here..in my new house..
I am closer to some friends..
I am also can play football here with new friends..
I am also hav a nearby 24 hour restaurant..
I am also closer to my tution centre..
I am also closer to my relative's home..
But its never the same compared to my old home..

I miss it so much..
Eventhough its smaller compared to my house now..
Eventhough its uglier than my house now..
Eventhough it doesen't have guards compared to my house noe..
Eventhough I have to share rooms with my uncle..
At least its warm..
Warmer to how I feel living here now..
All the memories there..
I practically grew up living there..
My childhood friends..
My playground..
All there...

The only thing I enjoy living here right now..
Is the long walks to anywhere..
To skool..
To play football with old friends..
To the badminton court..
To Brem Mall..
To my grandparents home..

Yeah..
The long walks..
I enjoy it..
Walking for abt 45-30 mins..
All alone..
Listening to songs on my phone..
Feeling the wind..
Feeling the raindrops..
Feeling the warm sun..
It seems like sometimes..
My mood just matches the song..
It like my mood is synchronised with the songs..

Sometimes also..
It seems like the weather matches with my mood..
Sometimes..
The warm sun shines..
When I'm feeling good..
Sometimes..
The wind blows..
When I'm feeling moody or don't know how I feel..its hard to describe..
The rain pours..
When I'm feeling down..
Not only does the weather matches my mood..
But matches the songs also..
Especially the meaning of the song..
The lyrics..
The feel that the song gives out..

Mayb..
My life is destined to be lonely..
Mayb..
I'm meant to live in solitude..
Mayb..

But..
One thing is for sure..
I'm at my happiest when I'm with my friends..
Chatting..
Playing..
Bullshitting..XDXD
Gossiping..
Footballing..
Bowling..
Batminton-ing..
What ever-ing..
Doing nothing..
Yeah..
Even if I'm doing nothing with my friends..
I'm happy..

Without them..
What would I do?
Especially my 'heng dai's
My best friends..
My friends..
My classmates..
My friends from camp..
My close friends..
Yeah..
All those friends..

I sure hope our friendship lasts forever..
You all are the very reason that I don't feel lonely..
When I'm not with you all..
It feels like I'm the only person in the world..
Lonely..
Gu dan..
Solitary..
The world is black and white..
But with you all..
Yeah..
With you all..
Seems like life is full of colours..

So much has changed in my life..
Friends come and go..
Change houses..
Changed football fields..
I've experienced so many things..
Even things that I thought will never happen to me..
Love..
Camps..
Seminars..
And many other events..

There are also many regrets in my life..
Sometimes..I just wish I could rewind life..
Undo all the wrongs..
Correct things..
But I guess its never gonna happen..

I rili missed life before I moved house..
But there are also things that happened here..
Or could not possibly have happened if I did not move..
In my new house that I'm happy about..

Sometimes..
I miss my life in primary skool..
So carefree..
Play..
Play..
And play..
No homework..
No responsobilities..
No pressure..
I sometimes wish I will never have to go to middle skool..

But..
Here..in middle skool..
I met many new friends..
Learned many new things..
Experienced many things..
Felt many feelings..
Thought about a lot of things..

Sometimes..
I wish I can remain in the past..
Sometimes..
I wish I can move on to the future..
Its making me go crazy..

My life..
As a teenager..
All those crazy things that happened..
All those memorable events..
All those beautiful memories..
All those feelings..
All those thoughts..
All those sights..
All those sounds..
All those people that walked in and out of my life..
Has changed me..
I learned to care..
I learned to love..
I learned to protect..
I learned to appreciate..
I learned to live..

Sometimes..
I hate my life..
Sometimes..
I love my life..
Its also making me go crazy..

Sometimes..
I don't knoe..
If I'm living life..
Or just barely surviving..
All the pressure..
All the expactations..
All the responsobilities..
Its all making me very tired..
Tired of life..
But..
My friends..
My feelings..
My thoughts..
It makes me appreciate my life..
I don't knoe whether I hate or love my life..

Sometimes..
I just wish..
I can walk away..
While listening to songs from my phone..
Just keep on walking..
Leave everything behind..
Leave the pressures of life..
Leave all the responsobilities..
And keep on walking..
Never to come back..

But then..
I would have to leave my friends behind..
I would never want to do that..
But mayb..
Mayb just one day..
I might have to leave it all behind..
Including my friends..
And walk away..
Never to comeback..
Ever again..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SADIQ!!

Err..
First..
I would like to say sorry to Sadiq..
Actually his b-day was yesterday..
But I couldn't blog yesterday coz of some problemz with the net..
Sorry dude..

Yeah..
Yesterday was Sadiq's b-day..
He is one of my best bud..
Also one of the ppl me,akmal,nazirul,syahmi and syuk always tease..LOL
But I think he's already used to it..XDXD
Its not like he never tease me b4..

Yesterday..when he went into the class..
Everybody sang happy birthday for him..
But if you look at his face yesterday..
It was..kinda..er..blur and no expression.. =.=''
I thoght he was gonna be touched or cry or something..
But I guess BIG boys don't cry huh..LOL

He even got a b-day present from Iz..
Lucky him..LOL

Anyway..
Here's a super duper late birthday wish from me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SADIQ!!
Again..sorry dude..
Aku betul-betul ade problem semalam arr..
Sori yek..

Youngsters

Today..
After tution..
While walking home..
Suddenly remembered..
Yesterday while comeing hom from kepong tution..
Saw a bunch of kids playing football at the field a few rows behind my house..
Including Suet Yee's bros..

So..
I thought..
Mayb they're playing today too..
So..
What the heck..
I took the left at the junction..
And went to the field..

They were there..
Playing..
I joined them..

Ok..
Seriously..
The kids got skills..
But..
They oso have temper..
And swear too..
OMG!
All small small nia..
Know how to swear and push ppl liao..
They seriously need to learn how to cut out the dumb stuff..

They field's shape was quite..
Err..weird..
Not square..not rectangle..
More like..quadrilateral..
At least its clean..no rubbish..
No nothing..just pure grass..

These bunch of kids..
They're crazy..
I think we played till like 7.45..
It was dark..
Add it with my short-sightedness..
Cannot see the ball liao..
I think they can continue playing till the next morning..

Then oso I discovered..
Haiz..I not fit liao..hahaha..
Old liao...Machine oso rosak liao..
Long no play..passing oso no good liao..
Have to train more..

I guess next time..
I have 2 places to play football..
1 at my old house..with classmates..
2 at here..with neighbour's kids..and friend's bros..

Happy Birthday Little Trumpet!!!

Today..

We celebrated the birthday of a beloved friend..

Little Trumpet is her name..

Actually her b-day is 2moro..

But we celebrated it early..

After skool..

Me,Kar Yee,Pei Pei,her bf,Wee Vern,Kar Lun and Suet Ee went to Brem Mall..

We went to Bee's to buy a small cake for her..

Then we gathered at the food court to celebrate..

We sang happy birthday loudly while clapping..

Obviously..everybody was looking..

They must be thinking..

"Wat the heck are this kids doing?!"..

"They crazy or something?!"..

We ordered our food and then ate the cake..

Wee Vern's mother was there too..

She even had a piece of the cake..

After that..we jz went walking around the mall..

Pei Pei trying to write on the cake

Ok..its EE ok..NOT 'PATERN' lai de..XDXD

The cake with candles

B-day girl and the b-day cake

The girls and b-day girl

The guy and b-day girl

B-day cake with lighted candles

Making a wish

Cutting cake

Removing candles using mouth

A plate with the word 'Happy Birthday'

She walked around the mall with it on her head the whole day..XDXD

Face full of cream..courtesy of Kar Yee

LOL..see her cute face..

Guess who's in the background!? XDXD

Mouth full of cherries..

Too bad another friend..

Suet Yee..

She can't be together wif us today..

Here..

I want to wish Suet Ee..

Happy Birthday!!

and

Happy Mid Autumn!!

Hope you become more clever..

and less blur!!

HAHAHAHA!!

and also wish you happy always...

Transformation..

Today..
While I was walking into the tution class..
I saw something..
Something red..
Sitting there..

It was her..
Stunning..
Decked out in a long sleeve white blouse..
With a red sweater-vest..

Since last Friday..
She was begining to dress preety to tution..
Combined with her new hairstyle..
WOW..

Seems like...
The more ppl grow..
The more they dress up..
They become more beautiful..

My friend has transformed into something beautiful..
Hope she becomes more and more beautiful..

愛不疚

Nice song..

愛不疚

收藏在眼眸 常徘徊左右 愛猜到沒有
愉快玩笑後 能全然退後 你開心就夠

這種感覺太親厚 講一千句也不夠
假使講了你聽到後 或會走
這種戀愛太罕有 不須真正擁有
成全 衷心祝福然後 就放手

放手 放開所有 彼此更自由
放手 其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手 豁出所有 還有這個好友
已經 已經足夠

遙遠是宇宙 靜靜在背後 去看守就夠

這種感覺太親厚 講一千句也不夠
即使一剎有過衝動 挽你手
這種戀愛太罕有
不須真正擁有成全 多捨不得仍然 是放手

放手 放開所有 彼此更自由
放手 其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手 豁出所有 還有這個好友
已經 已經足夠

放手 我的牽掛 找不到盡頭
放手 期望你幸福甚麼都有
也許 愛很深厚 然而我早看得透
放手 至可擁有

A Turtle-Shaped Box

A Turtle-Shaped Box by Daniel Bailey

I had a dream the other day
That you'd driven me to madness-
Obviously I coudn't tell it was a dream-
I dreamt that, in frustration and despair,
I pulled the broken heart from my chest
Half of it I sauteed with mushrooms,
Garnished with asparagus
And partook my own Last Supper,
The other half I UPS-ed to you,
Its former owner.
I admit
(you always know when I'm lying anyway),
A small piece I saved,
To appease the sniveling, sentimental moron
Inside me who still hopes you'll come back,
And I put that piece in a turtle-shaped box
On my chest of drawers.
This was symbolic-
Some people used to believe that
the Earth was held up by a great turtle-
You were my world..but not any more.
I woke up with a strange feeling of pleasure
But I was just as mirerable as when
I had brushed my teeth and gotten into bed the night before.
I wished my dream was real-
You can't live without a heart,
It's very similar to trying to
Live without you.
I wish I was an ostrich so
I could bury my head in the ground.